Lesson 25 - Let Them Take Risks
Be The Dad You Wish You Had - Ryan Roy
The video below is NOT a word for word reading of the book. It is the author giving a different perspective on the text to help YOU get a deeper understanding of the material
Let Them Take Risks. Let them be fearless.
Children understand their limits more then we give them credit for. We must allow them to take certain risks. A child will never learn to walk if the child does not fall. Children will never learn how to talk if they do not first mispronounce certain words. It is all a learning process. It is our job as parents to make sure we allow them to take certain calculated risks.
I mentioned earlier that my son climbed a tree for the first time. Why did he do it? He witnessed another kid around the same age doing it. It looked like fun and he knew he was capable. He was prepared because he has played on the playground and climbed things his entire childhood. He never even thought to climb a tree until he saw another child of similar capability doing it. He asked my permission to try it. I said yes without hesitation. Internally I was scared for him, but I knew allowing him to take those risks would progress his learning. As parents, we want them to be fearless and take those chances. If we are not conscious of these moments, we have a tendency to tell them everything that can go wrong.
When we are ready as parents, we then want them to try. It’s our job as parents to encourage them while their minds are limitless.
If we only encourage them when we feel they are ready, then all they may remember are the consequences you instilled in them. They are full of fear and do not want to attempt those things. Do not to let your fears hinder your child’s growth.
I witnessed this at the park recently. A ten-year-old child was learning to ride a bike for the first time. His parents were visibly frustrated that he had fear riding a bike. Why did they wait until ten? Could it have been their fears? Could it be their lack of belief in his abilities? It was probably a combination of several factors. At this point he was FULL OF FEAR surrounding his ability to ride a bike. He may have been told at five that he could not do it. He might have been told he would fall and get hurt or that he is clumsy. I am just making assumptions with those statements. Regardless of what may have been said, fear is taught.
My son is five as I write this book. I have referenced numerous events that have happened recently. This past weekend, he fell out of a tree onto the sidewalk. Running full speed after his soccer ball, he fell and scraped his hip and elbow. He banged his head against the glass dining room table because he did not realize how close he was to it as he went after our cat underneath the table. Standing near the table, he bent down and hit his forehead really hard on the glass. All of these experiences are learning opportunities. The consequences at this age are: a scrape, a bruise, or a bump on the forehead. Without these minor setbacks there may or may not be much learning. My mother always said mistakes are good as long as you learn from them.
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